*Aja!Aja!Fighting!*

Another semester had passed. Time doesn’t really wait for us to move forward. Today is Monday. Well, as usual, Monday blues. But it’s a stress day as well cos’ I need to meet with my supervisor. Discussing about the future path of my research direction.

"You sort of skewed away from your research direction." Those words lingered in my mind for the past few days. Hmm…seems that I did really screwed up my research direction. I sat aback and try to ponder deeper but with the unsettled emotion, I am not able to concentrate. Therefore, I might as well scribble something on the blog that I’d left it sleep for a long time. I can imagine all the spider webs structure if this is a diary.

Yes, last Friday is the Comprehensive Qualifying Exam (CQE). A little explanation for this CQE - it’s an exam where you present your research work in an overview manner and there are 5 panels (or lecturers) will asked questions on your fundamental knowledge. Sounds fun to you, huh? It’s a nightmare for me. I’ve never felt so many butterflies in my stomach before and the pressure is too enormous for me to digest. Slowly the pressure overtook me and I broke down. Thank God and the panels, I passed the exam. Maybe not with flying colours but as long as I pass, nothing matters. The supports and concerns from my beloved friends and loved ones act as a strong pillar to hold me on. It’s a surprise that my supervisor showed his concern for the first time in my 1.5 years of studies. That is really, WOW. I am speechless for that.

Now, the real battle is just about to begin. Just imagine the battle you’d seen in Lord of the Rings, the war is just the same but the weapon we are using is mouth and brain. A lot to do and study. Hope that I can coop with it and won’t screw up this time. Keep the fingers cross always.

Love is….Unconditional; Unpredictable; Forgiving; Sweet; Spicy; Sour; Bitter.

Unconditional - give all the love you have to your love ones without asking anything in return (family, friends, lovers). However, we will always wish for something in return for all the love we gave. Cos we are human after all. For a guy/gal in particular, stop wasting your time and youth if he/she doesn’t return your love. As a Chinese proverb goes "Never let go the whole forest because of a tree". There are so many men and women out there, surely there are a few who are compatible with you. What matter most is whether you meet them at the right time.

Unpredictable - love come to you when you least expected. Be it infactuation/crush/whatever you called them. When you are working so hard looking for it, it doesn’t seem to appear in front of you. But when you aren’t looking at it, it surprises you. Therefore, it’s unpredictable.

Forgiving - when someone you love did a deadly mistake or wrong doing…you’ll somehow forgive them no matter how deep they hurt you. Cos’ you really love them with your heart and mind. The love tells you to overlook all the mistakes and wrong doings, where you ended up breaking down.

Sweet - Love is sweet at the first time when you tasted it. Everything seems so nice and well organize. You felt warm in the heart even when the weather is cold. All the world seems so beautiful when you are in love.

Spicy - Love always add spices into our so called normal life. Being with him/her everything is so exciting and hot. Rather than asking how long will they last, why not ask yourself how should I sustain it to make it long lasting.

Sour - Love turn to sour not because love putrefies. Just because when you love him/her more…the little green monster started to crawl over you. That’s where -Jealousy- find its way into you. You’ll dislikes all the girlfriends/boyfriends surrounding your love ones. You turn to become possessive and making the relationship so tense and suffocated. You’ll think "Hey, he/she is mine so stop meddling with him/her!"

Bitter - Bitterness arises when it’s time to say bye-bye to someone that you love. You hate to part with him/her and the worse you’ll really part for real. The bitterness is far more bitter than all the medication you take. But commiting suicide for someone who doesn’t love you is a stupid things to do. There are still other people who love you in this world. Do you want them to go through the bitterness as you do? Thus, before commiting anything that is bound to hurt yourself, please spare some thoughts for your love ones. I am sure they love you more than those who dumped you.

Ahem…those are some of my points of view about love which I gained in my past and current relationships. Anyone who wishes to share a piece of your thoughts are always welcome here. We are born to learn from each other…Hohoho…

Wish to learn more about love, hoping to feel love again ^o^

It seems that I have left this blog long enough and I should be updating them now. Time does really flies. It’s been a year since I’ve been here. A lot of things happened though. Let’s see where should I start.

Hmmmmm…..

Let’s kick off with the study life! Well, well life as a PhD isnt easy, however, it is fun. ALthough the experiments which I am doing now keep failing, there are always new discoveries to make things works. As what Einstein said "I have created 2200 ways to make the light bulbs not to work, but I have created one that make it works". I am currently holding on this principle to keep myself motivated. Motivation and endurance are surely playing a big role here. In addition to experiments, I need to take some modules. It’s like studying during the master years, nonetheless, due to a year of lagging, somehow I felt that I am not that *omph* (self-driven) in studies. Always get distracted by a lot of things (shopping, beauty, sports, animation, friends gathering et cetera)…Sigh…Human change philosophy I guess.

Hahahaha…….

But then I managed to crawl and struggle the two semester here. Life in the first semester was miserable, but it isnt so bad after adapting the study life here. For the moment, I am praying hard that the research work will go smoothly especially when I am going to meet my supervisor next week. Better work hard for this week and no "cheeky-picky" and "hanky-panky" things going on. Hehehe

Next let’s see the social life. I do hang out with a lot of Thais now and then. Quite relaxing when you are with them. Eating, travelling, chit chatting, tennis-ing, anime-ing, movie-ing, jazz-ing, musician, singing. Just click whichever category and you can find the person that you want to hang out with. Thus, this motivated me to learn Thai language. However, till now I only know how to say some basic stuff. Love to be with them when you are not in the lab.

Hihihihi…I get to know them through a best friend of mine Christy (Nichanan)  (Refer to the side for her picture). And become quite close with some of her friends she introduced to me.

Of course not forgetting those cutee labmates that I have, they really add up the spices in my life. Recently, one of our labmate graduated and we visited their convocation. This guy is a funny plus hillarious guy named Kwee Guan but I always pronouced his name as Kee Guan Kee Guan. I always get corrected by that. The way he talks will really make you laugh. Hope that he will get  his the other half soon.

And what’s even happier is a junior and a schoolmate of mine visited me. I am really touch for their visit to Singapore. Angel and Siao Ling…. This is the picture of Angel…still look the same like when we are in secondary school…but too bad I didnt take pictures with Siao Ling..Soo sorry about that…and I do hope that she has gotten better in Europe now. Waiting for her to come back and share her experience in Europe with me…Hehehe….

Last and most people would like to know is my love life. Why is my status denoting it’s complicated? Am I in relationship or am I not? People feel puzzled. Well, they are still quite complicated though and it’s something which you cant put it in words. Even, my mum said they are complicated. Just to let you know that I had 3 relationships in the past which failed. Maybe due to incompatibility, I guess. I do hope that the 4th one will work out. Pray hard for that as well .

That’s all for now and hopefully I can update something new next time.

Cheers~

10th March 2007
Destination: Pulau Ubin

Pulau Ubin, a breakaway from the high rise and compacted city of Singapore. This place brings back my childhood memories. I claimed myself a "kampung girl" (village girl for those who doesnt know Malay) since part of my childhood were spend in place like this but without beaches around. However, the similarity is they have plots of plantation and the houses are partially made from wood and bricks . I really miss those days. Toilet were located a few meters behind the house. You would need to use kerosene lamp as electricity and water were not fixed yet by the government that time. Well, of course Pulau Ubin is far much better. Possessing both electricity and water. I still remembered clearly that we would drink rain water collected on a big pond dug by my grandfather and it just taste weird. Sour taste, and we thought tat might be ok, which later I realize tat might be the leaching of fertilizers into groundwater or contribution of acid rain to the weird sour taste. Thanks to the environmental engineering degree which I earned a few years back. I used to run around the unpaved road and try to burn down the house when we try to burn the dried oil palm leaves. Sometimes, a few cousins and me including my sis would dug the peat soil searching for earthworms for our "fishing" activity on a small stream flowing nearby. We would bathe while the cows were doing their business upstream. Children nowadays will only know computer games and books as their childhood. Old days are forgotten and no one knows what hardship really meant to them. Sigh…life for children nowadays are too good to be true. Though life was tough that time but it really taught us a lot and built what I am today. I love the so called "kampung" life. Life is much slower in pace and for materialistic wise they are far from us. Everyone will be true and sincere to each other. Nowadays, who would care. It’s saddening to see the way human evolve from one stage to another forgetting to appreciate the core and care for each other. Sigh…It sounds like I am an old woman telling what’s going on in the past. I think I need to come back to reality and get back to work. Study, study and study. However, I appreciate the time and are thankful to my lovely labmates bringing me around. Not forgetting Koh’s adorable nephew and niece.  It’s great to have you guys around. Thanks a lot. I hope we will have more outings together. Looking forward to it. Way to go!!Aja!Aja!

Hey guys!It’s been a while since I am writing my blog. Again due to the business that I am facing nowadays. This was the first time I went to women expo and had myself make up. Well, I paid 10 dollars for that. Yes, it’s cheap and the make over really makes me look different. Some people said that it wasn’t like me at all. I guess it was true. Ok let’s see the different  you can find in this picture. This is after the make over of course. The skin looked smooth with no pimples or blackhead on it. The eyes look brighter and the nose look taller. As for the mouth it looked pinky. Yeap, I was quite satisfied with that…and I am really tempted to learn as for those who knew me..u know what I am like hahahaha…now this is the picture where i am without make up and without spectacles as well. Now this one is with spectacles. Can u see the difference? One day I am going to learn that up and do some make up for the functions held…Hahahahaha

It’s looks like the research I will be doing will be venture into microbiology field. Microorganisms culturing, isolating, identification, their degradation pathway are all needed. Someone who have that kind of expertise please let me know the kind of textbook needed as a good start. Everything seems to be so hard now. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally I was enrolled yesterday. But I know there are more challenges to come. NUS is a nice campus. If you got a chance do drop by. A lot of facilities here. The library is superb!!!I just take a look havent really been there….The transportation is fast and clean just tat the air is polluted. And hot here…the moment I step out of the house, I started to sweat like hell…luckily it’s air conditioned everywhere else i die. Met some old friends from Malaysia…else I will become a very quiet person…Life is a bit tough when you have no one to talk to…Really lonely like hell…Hope I will make some friends later on….Pray for me…

Today is another day … a day which is nearer to my departure…a day which is nearer for us to part and say goodbye….but i dun want to say goodbye…goodbye is a word that is too heavy to comeout when we know we hardly see each other anymore. Yesterday was an unforgetable night …to be exact should be an unforgetable morning. A very early morning which I will remember always…a morning which I will put it in my heart always. I will put it neatly in a memory box.

Thank you all of you! All of you are just like family (Ee Vonne, Moon, Evelynn, Mian,, Yang, Zac, Chiew Pei, Jessie, Fiona, Qiao Wee) U are just like my brothers and sisters. My heart is still raining…sigh… I hope tomorrow my eyes will not rain heavily. Cos I am a person who cried a lot and I dun really express well in verbally in situation like yesterday but in writing at least I can express what I am thinking a bit clearer. I dunno why but I am just like tat.

For each person I met I will put them in a memory box whether it’s a person to be remembered or not to be remembered. Cos I think to meet this person from billions of people in this world wasnt easy. To meet a person then become from friends to good friends or lover is even harder. Therefore, I cherish all the people I met and I always feel fortunate to meet good people all the way from childhood till now. I am really fortunate and thankful and I hope this will last long. It wont last forever as there is no such thing as forever cos mortal will die one day. Again I thank you for being the good people in my life and you will be in the memory box always. Dun worry I will never discard my memory box as I dun have recycle bin in my computer system hahahaha…I only have hardisk and the delete and backspace function is disabled.

To everyone take care and we will see each other when we got the fate to meet. I always believe in fate….and we will meet when the right time comes. So this parting were actuallty not a parting but a beginning of the meeting journey in the future. I will take good care of myself when I am there. Will love you guys always!!

Dun worry and we can always communicate as it’s so easy to communicate nowadays….I think I’ve written too much I guess the readers must be tired reading all this hahahaha…..Again thank you, arigato gozaimasu! Ja ne!

Is It Love Or Lust?

• Love is loyal.
• Love is wanting the best for the other person.
• Love is compromising and working things out in a way that you both can win.
• Love is finding common ground.
• Love is trying to come together in a way that makes the world a better place.
• Love is selfless.
• Love is caring about the other person’s emotional needs and feelings.

What Lust is…

• Lust is self-gratification.
• Lust can be obsessive.
• Lust is usually tied to sexual gratification.
• Lust is selfish.
• Lust doesn’t consider the other persons wants and needs.
• Lust doesn’t care about how the other person’s day went.
• When someone’s in lust they aren’t interested in meeting family or friends.
• Lust is wanting something to the point that you don’t care who gets hurt.
• Lust manipulates, destroys and controls.
• Lust often involves raging.
• People who lusts may think they are in love, but the fire burns out quickly when they get the person or thing they lust for.
• Lust doesn’t last, but love can.

by: Melanie

Love is sweet at the same time it brings misery (anger, sadness, etc…). For two people to be together, cherist the fate that has brought upon you. Never hurt your other half no matter what…and the other please dun be too possesive to your love one. Be fair to each other when you ur together in this…Love is still beautiful in many ways…